Life Coaching is not Giving Advice
A lot of people give themselves good advice and not following these very advices which may help save themselves from problems. Another problem we have is giving unsolicited advices without even knowing the true facts of the situation.
A Low Down On Advices
All roads are paved with good intentions. A lot of people want to help, we want to aid people by shielding them and deflective bad things, and especially to those people we love. An advice can turn something good into somewhat of an overture towards a person’s sense of self. One comment can become a potentially uncomfortable situation.
Some people are sensitive. You may see them cry, they might tell you they are hurt, and they could say something as to the why; however, the fact remains that you do not have enough idea of the situation that person is experiencing. More often than not, people who love dishing out advice end up putting their foot into their mouths.
Empathy and Sympathy
Taking your cue from a life coach, you will see that a life coach never sympathizes with their client. Sympathizing is taking another persons experience and making them your own. That is a selfish act. Empathizing on the other hand is putting yourself in that individual’s shoes. In short being him/ her for the time being.
Visualize and Categorize
Advices are useless because they can be one sided. Every person’s experiences are different. You may have the same problem, but the process you had to go through before reaching that problem always varies.
Letting the client visualize the goal is the first step towards healing and finding the solution. For example: If the problem is an argument with the boss. Making the client visualize his desired out come, let say making up with the boss and getting a promotion will point the client to the path in which he or she wants to take without dictating to him or her what to do. You see, sometimes advices can be dictatory in a sense that the other person will follow the advice simply because they do not want to hurt your feelings.
If Not Advice Then What?
Time is the essence of life coaching. A coach can spend months and some even years working with a client to achieve his or her goals and the things he or she want in life. Time is valuable so make the most of it by connecting with the client mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Achieving a degree of trust is usually the first step. Next is listening intently, and then identifying critical situation in a client’s life which you could catalyze on how to make though provoking activities for your client.
The thing about being a life coach is that although you do relate to the client from a time to time basis, you give the client room to expand and be who he or she really is without having to worry of what your thinking. An advice is not how a life coach makes the client see things. Instead the coach praises the client for his or her current success and asks him or her if there is anything in his or her life they want to change. By asking a question the coach throws the ball to the client’s court and makes him or her ponder on his own. The process of life coaching is not an easy one. There are trainings and seminars, but there is no formal education. You have to possess insight to be an effective life coach.
Many times if not all the time a life coach is able to lead the thought process of the client in a way to where the client answers all of the questions and come up with a solution them selves. So the life coach asks the right questions, and the client answers the questions and solve the problem. With this method the client for the most part feel very happy to have a solution to the problem and thank the coach for being the hero. The coach will always tell the client that the real hero is not the coach, but that the client was able to find the answer his or her self with a little guidance from the coach.
All the Best
Eddie Lago
